I Messed My Pants at 53 Years Old: What Can We Learn

Story Learnings

Sep 3

I Messed my pants for the first time in 50 years!

The snow was falling, big, wet, and heavy like soggy cornflakes that melted when they landed. Crux, a people-aggressive German Shepherd with a protective gaze and a bark to match, was my responsibility for the day. A rehabilitation case that needed my attention, he was just the excuse I needed to hit the Coyote Loop Trail at 5:30 AM, before a full day at the office.

About two miles in, I felt a churning, like a dormant volcano awakening. I was feeling fine, but something told me last night's dinner was about to have its revenge. My dinner? What I knew by the smell was a questionable 3/4 pounds of ground beef I fried for myself and masked with a liberal covering of taco seasoning.

About 2 minutes later, the volcano now felt active. I sensed I would not have time to use a restroom at the end of the trail, so I hustled back into the woods to be an organic fertilizer spreader on the forest floor. I then realized I could not leave Crux on the trail because he was 100% guaranteed to bite someone if they tried to pet him. So, I spent about 40 seconds walking out of the thicket, grabbed the dog's leash, and started pulling him back into the woods with me. I saw a horizontal tree that looked like a suitable makeshift toilet.

Here's where it all went wrong. As I stepped over the tree, disaster struck. Imagine squeezing a 2-liter bottle of chili into your underwear. Yep, that's what happened. As a reflex action, I grabbed at the back of my pants to stop the flow, which only redirected it up my back and down my legs simultaneously. There I stood in the snowy woods with my waterproof boots, jacket, and pants full of last night's dinner.

Now, what do I do? I thought. I had no other choice. I grabbed Crux and hiked out 1.5 miles with my mess 100% self-contained in my jacket, pants, and boots, sloshing through a mini-mudslide of regret with every step. I was clean on the outside and a crappy mess under my clothes.

As I was Hiking out, I saw I would walk parallel to a lady on another trail. I thought, Oh good, she is just far enough out that she will be unable to smell me and know I pooped my pants! Then we passed each other about 30 feet apart.

She asked, "How are you?"
To which I replied, "I'm doing great! It's a beautiful day for a hike."
She said, "You've got that right."

And we both went on our way. I looked like just another person enjoying the day on the outside. But she had no idea that my clothes were full of last night’s dinner, and I ensured she was far enough away not to smell it!

WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU TELL THIS STORY?

You would not be the first to wonder why I would tell this story! First, I have not pooped my pants since I was three years old, fifty years ago. I hope not to poop my pants for another 50 years. If this becomes a more regular event, it’s tragic. But if this is, as I hope, a semicentennial event, it's hilarious and needs to be told! Secondly, the dual insights drawn from this messy ordeal have a 'load' of significance, just like the unwanted cargo in my pants!

INSIGHT NUMBER ONE

We often encounter others without knowing their whole story, hidden struggles, or the "mess" they might carry. Like the unsuspecting hiker, I passed on the trail, we interact with people daily who may look fine on the outside but deal with challenges, fears, and sorrows we can't even imagine.

“God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” 2 Corinthians 1:3b-4
(To understand this biblical imperative's full context, follow this link to my Sunday teaching on this passage.)

As Christians, we strive to reflect the love and compassion of Christ in all our interactions and to be an encouragement to those going through the messiest of times. It's easy for us to brush past the surface of interpersonal connections, settling for simple greetings and casual conversations. However, if we take a moment to dig deeper, we can unearth the rich complexities of human experience that often lie hidden beneath everyday exchanges.

Here are questions I find helpful to get beyond surface appearances with others to open the door to more meaningful relationships.

I know we all have our ups and downs. What's something that's been challenging for you recently, and how have you been dealing with it?
What's been a significant experience for you lately that has shaped how you feel today?
Life can surprise us, sometimes in ways we don't expect. Have you encountered any unexpected twists or turns recently? How have they affected you?
Sometimes, appearances can be deceiving, just like on my recent hike. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where things looked fine but were quite the opposite? How did you handle that?

The key to these questions is that they don't assume something terrible is happening in everyone's life. However, they open the door for those experiencing difficulties to share their struggles.

By asking open-ended questions, we demonstrate genuine interest and empathy. We're not merely seeking information; we're creating a safe space for others to open up and express themselves. This approach fosters trust, encourages authentic engagement, and often leads to more meaningful and insightful conversations; it's a pathway to deeper relationships and the opportunity to serve Christ by comforting those around us. In doing so, we align with biblical teachings and provide tangible, compassionate support to those facing unseen messes.

INSIGHT NUMBER TWO

Life's challenges, struggles, or the "mess" we sometimes find ourselves in can often lead us to isolate ourselves, keeping others at arm's length. Like the self-contained mess in my story, you may strive to appear fine on the outside, maintaining distance to conceal your inner turmoil. But doing so denies you the empathy, compassion, and support you will find within a caring church community.

Galatians reminds us of the importance of fellowship and bearing each other's burdens. "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2

Christ calls us to live in authentic community with one another, not in isolation. Keeping others at a distance doesn't benefit you during difficult times. If you find yourself struggling, hiding your mess, and isolating yourself from others, know that people around you care and are willing to support you. It may be challenging to open up, but consider saying one of the following to a trusted friend or someone in your church family:

I've been going through a tough time and could use someone to talk to.
I've been keeping to myself lately but realize I need support. Can we talk?

Don't hesitate to seek professional or pastoral guidance. It's a sign of strength to seek help, and you can approach it by saying,

I've been feeling overwhelmed and isolated, and I think I need help from someone who understands.

Remember, asking for help or sharing your struggles is not a weakness. Letting others in opens the door to empathy, compassion, and the supportive community God has placed around you. Embrace the fellowship and allow others to bear your burdens with you, just as Christ has taught us.

CONCLUDING THOUGHTS

Life is full of troubles, sometimes funny, sometimes messy. But we don't have to go it alone. Like my adventure on the trail showed me, people around us may be dealing with things we can't imagine. But if we dig a little deeper and connect with one another, we can be there for each other in meaningful ways. We can laugh, cry, and share the load like good friends, neighbors, or church family should. Christ's teachings show us the way, and if we follow His lead, we'll make our journey through life more fulfilling and a lot less lonely. So, let's make a point to look beyond the surface and be the community God calls us to be. And finally, don’t mask questionable ground beef with taco seasoning!

Connect with Greg McNichols - Bio and links.

Video of Crux, a people-aggressive German Shepherd, on the day I pooped my pants.